Les dures lois de l'aquariophilie

Pas trop d'inspiration en ce moment, surement parce-qu'il n'y a pas grand chose de neuf non plus.

Alors juste pour le plaisir et pour rire un peu aussi voici un article de Mark van der Wal  lu sur le site reef-builders.
A la fois amusant et terrifiant car tellement vrai... Praise the coral reef aquarium Gods!

---

The Gods of coral reef aquariums are wrathful. They do not appreciate any display of confidence, comfort, or excitement for the hobby. You must respect them to succeed in this hobby. Here are some rules I have learned to follow that helps me avoid their wrath:

• Never share your excitement about a new fish or coral until it has been quarantined for two months, introduced successfully to your reef, and coexisting happily for at least a year. If you brag about your new purchase or share photos sooner, it will die. The Gods do not want you to feel excitement or joy. Only when you are bored with this acquisition is it acceptable to share it. 
• Never name your fish. If your adorable child gives any of your fish a cute name, tell that child he/she has just sentenced that fish to a horrible death. It will emotionally scar them, but those scars will protect the fate of future fish acquisitions.
• Never give coral frags to a friend with the intent of creating a backup resource for tank crashes….Your tank will crash. In fact, the Gods will destroy your friend’s tank as well, to make an example.  Instead, act like you are giving out frags just for the hell of it. Keep your motives secret.
• Never go on vacation. If you decide to go relax on a beach with your family for the weekend, your tank will crash. That calcium reactor, that has been running flawlessly, will now clog and explode. Then as the water being pumped to it drains onto your new hardwoods, the top-off pump will replenish with gallons of kalkwasser. You will come home to a dead pickled tank.
• Always ignore your tank. When you are too busy to even think about your tank, it will thrive. Your Bangaii cardinalfish will barf beautiful babies into your refugium. That finicky Pearlberry Acropora will triple in size. These positive trends will inevitably renew your interest in reef aquaria; and you will suddenly want to tinker. As soon as you do, the reefkeeping angels of death will be at your return pump.
• Never compile a list of “Must-Have” fish or coral. They will turn out to be the very organisms that are impossible for you to keep. You could have a Domino Damsel on your wish list, and it will succumb in a tank where an Orange-Spotted Filefish is thriving on flake food.
•  If you are smart enough to use a quarantine tank, it must be ghetto and nasty. If your quarantine tank resembles some people’s display tank, your fish will get sick and die. If it is undersized and covered in algae, it will heal your fish of all things.

If you haven’t figured out by now that I’m trying to be humorous, now you do. I think every reef hobbyist can relate to one or all of these. If you have any tips on other ways to appease the reef lords, please do share them in the comments!

---

---

Voir l'article sur le site d'origine :How to keep the Coral Aquarium Reef Gods Happy

Malgré ces avertissements, et sachant que je risque de déclencher le courroux des Dieux et de déchainer ainsi les affres du destin, je suis fier de vous présenter humblement mon superbe Amphiprion percula arrivé lundi dernier!

Pas de petit nom pour ce joli poisson clown aux marges noires étalées et à l'anneau blanc caudal interompu
à mi-chemin, je n'en donne de toute façon jamais et ça fait toujours un risque en moins d'offenser les Dieux...

---

[EDIT du 22/07/2012] Attention, ne prenez surtout pas à la légère les propos cités dans cet article!
J'y ai révélé l'achat de mon Amphiprion percula, même sans montrer trop d'enthousiasme, les Dieux m'ont tout de même puni... Le clown va bien rassurez-vous, mais ma pompe VORTECH MP10 m'a laché deux jours après sa publication!
Craignez la vengeance divine! Loués soient les Dieux de l'aquarium récifal...